i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
