Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
