I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
A bitchslap is in order.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
