new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
