Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
