She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
