just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Operation Purity has been aborted
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
that is very illegal...i love you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
