so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
