shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
