"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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