How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
