I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
