i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
