OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
