Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
