first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
