Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
