i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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