just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
