no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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