i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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