Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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