so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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