you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
