that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
