and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
