idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
