Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
