I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
