morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
