Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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