I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
