I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
