so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
