i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
