I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
