it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
