Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
