I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
