I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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