Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
