i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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