He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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