RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
