i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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