So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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