I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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