she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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