He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
