I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
